Christmas Positivity When You've Lost A Loved One | Thor's & Leeds Xmas Markets
Christmas was always a time for happiness and being with family. I was excited for it almost every year, even when I was a teenager and growing out of the obsession with toys and presents. There's just something about having a day in the year where most people around us are all celebrating and spending time with their families. Granted, it's a little excessive and silly when you think about it, but everyone loves it all the same.
Two years ago, however, I lost the Christmas joy as I experienced my first Christmas without my Dad, who passed away the May previous. It just was not the same, even a little bit. It felt sad instead of happy, knowing that he should be there but he wasn't. It's just a horrible feeling that completely ruins the day. I cried for most of the day, I felt alone, and it was the absolute worst Christmas of my life. The Christmas after wasn't as bad, but it still felt empty in some way.
This year, of course I'm still feeling sad because my Dad won't be here, but I'm getting more used to that feeling every day (it's weird how it's been so long and still I miss him every single day) and I'm actually feeling excited.
I get to cook Christmas dinner for eight people (can't wait) and I get to see my Mum's face when she opens the birdhouse I've made for her (she's probably going to be like "what the heck is this") and give gifts to everyone else, which is always fun. I also have a boyfriend this year who I love lots, and even though he won't be here on Christmas Day, it's the first year I've ever really had that.
I think I let things bring me down too much before. I get upset easily at silly things, and sometimes I struggle to appreciate what is actually a good thing and take a lot of things as negative. I'm working on that attitude, being negative is never good, and even if something isn't as good as I expected or wanted, it's still a good thing.
I hope you are expecting a great Christmas Day as well, and remember to think positively, especially if you're missing somebody who should be there, whether it be a close family member, a friend, or a pet. And hopefully there's none of those nasty family members, and if there are, ignore them! I'm expecting a few "you should dye your hair brown again" and "I don't like your hair" comments as usual.
So here's a few pictures from Thor's in Leeds, and the Leeds Christmas markets, which got me feeling festive with some cider and a hot fire pit. It was very busy and it hailed the night I went, but it was still a nice night!
Top: ASOS (similar - £16.00)
Skirt: Lazy Oaf Moody Mustard Skirt £60.00
Jacket: Topshop (similar £169.00)
Shoes: Vans Suede Sk8-Hi Lite £65.00
Merry Christmas Guys! Have a good one x